SWEET SORROW

"To have and to hold, from this day forward…to love and to cherish...'til death do us part." Those beautiful words from our wedding vows are so sweet yet foreboding.

A month before Christmas, my dear husband Francis went on a journey that only he could embark on. My husband of nearly twenty three years has always been so close to me, always by my side and I have never imagined that we wouldn't be together forever. He was not perfect but he was the perfect one for me. I thought being with him was my happy ever after.  

We were both looking so far ahead. We had dreams and plans for the future. We had foreseen how we would be as old people and looked forward to being a part of our children's adult lives. Being apart was never in our plans. 

Unfortunately, destiny has its twists and turns and what comes round the bend is sometimes so unexpected and deeply traumatic.

Francis succumbed to colon cancer a month before Christmas, just two months after being diagnosed. He has always been well, strong and protective. I have never imagined him unwell, much less gone. He has left such a huge, deep, dark space that I cannot fathom at the moment. 

It is so difficult to be so immensely pained, yet obliged to remain strong for the sake of my children. It is not just grief I have to deal with but the sudden drastic change in our lives. 

I thank everyone who prays for me, comforts me and encourages me to be strong. The task ahead is indeed daunting but I have faith in God's infinite plans. Everything that happens happens for a good reason. I trust that Francis dwells in eternal happiness and peace. I trust that there are bigger plans for me and my children, and we will have divine guidance to lead us through. I hope for enlightenment and strength so that I may build a new life for my family. 

I am taking a break from the blog for a while but will resume the posts when I can. Francis and I shared the same passion for food. We had a culinary journey together. Although he is gone, he will continue to inspire me.

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Francis' favourites:

Nasi Lemak

Nasi Ayam

Kari Kari

Taho (Soy Milk Junket)

Crispy Pata

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